Strange times

As I write this, we're in the midst of a worldwide pandemic. Schools are closed and most of the Bay Area has been ordered to shelter in place and attempt to maintain social distancing, with only a few essential retailers remaining open. When the Bay Area's first case of coronavirus popped up over three weeks ago, the current scenario seemed unlikely at best, but here we are. The speed at which the situation is changing rapidly, to the point where on Monday, I mentioned the possibility of school closures to Sora's teacher and she said that it was impossible, to Friday, we got the official word that schools would be closed until at least the beginning of April. Now, we're being told to anticipate schools being closed until fall.

Thursday: the run on Costco. People are inexplicably stocking up on toilet paper. Nik was going to get eggs, saw the line extending to the back of the store and left

Friday morning: we had a feeling schools would be closing, so decided to have a lunch date as our last hurrah

Coming back from out lunch date and enroute to picking up Sora, we get the call from the school district informing us that schools will be closing until April 4th. Mrs. DuBose looked a bit bewildered at pick up since she just saw the news on her watch 10 minutes before dismissal

Friday evening and Saturday: we opted to for a little bit of normalcy. We hosted Friday small group as usual with a smaller group of people and went to Niko's birthday party. Ben just had to go and get the Corona

Sunday: LSCC livestream. Unfortunately it did not capture the kids' interest, but it was good to try to keep up with community in the midst of these strange times

Monday: empty shelves of pain medicine at CVS. Hoarders cleared them out after the shelter in place order. I was so mad since I was getting Tylenol for my Dad who injured his back. Fortunately, there were still a few bottles left

Having all three kids at home is daunting since both Nik and I have never even had a passing interest homeschooling our children, and yet we're facing the prospect of doing just that until the next school year. We're only three days and we're already running out of ideas.

Worksheet time!

Walking outside and saving worms

School lunch pick up

Babysitting Nora was a much needed distraction and moment of normalcy for the kids

Doing exercise videos to stay active when it's raining outside

A day in the life...

I haven't updated the blog with much regularity in a while, but I read Nik's post yesterday evening and it reminded me of how much I enjoy having a written log of our day-to-day.

Today, Sora came home and was insistent about wanting to paint (in spite of the fact that she had already had painted during school.. I should know, since I was the volunteer assistant). I think she was perhaps inspired after watching Auntie Dali during last, last weekend's snow retreat, and she kept talking about how Auntie Dali "paints like this" or "does this with the brush."

When Kai came home, he immediately started egging Sora on saying, "who painted this?" and then following up with, "I don't like it." Why Kai, just why?? Anyway, Sora went to sulk in the living room and promptly fell asleep. Probably too tired after a long weekend.

Then Kai asked if he could paint too.

These kids.. they kill me.

Hiking to Eagle Rock

Yesterday, Amy and I decided to take the kids out to Alum Rock Park and hike the Eagle Rock trail.  We have been thinking about getting the kids outdoors more and now that the rain has let up, we thought we'd try to start a good habit.  The trail is moderately steep but not too long but it was still tough for me.  Over my life, I've come to grips with the limits imposed by my mitochondrial disorder, adjusting my activities and lifestyle and I don't think I've missed out on too many things that I've really wanted.  But I am so glad that our kids seem to have inherited their mom's marathon-runner genetics and that they won't be burdened with the same problems that I had to struggle through.  I'm very proud that Kai walked back to check on me several times and asked me why I was walking slow and both he and Sora tried to help by pushing and pulling me up the trail.  

The kids pushing me forward ..

.. until we all made it to the top! 

Dropping off Kai

Today I dropped Kai off at the turnaround for his school.  Previous to this I had always walked him in to the yard but because it was raining today and we had Jad in the car, he said I could just drop him off at the curb.  I watched as he got out of the car on his own, opened his umbrella and smiled to himself.  I opened the window and said , "bye, Kai" and he waved back before heading through the gates.  I felt something inside and, for a second, I thought it was sadness that Kai was growing up, becoming more independent and not needing us as much.  I have been feeling a bit this way as Jad just turned two and isn't quite as much of a baby anymore.  But then I looked and realized that it was actually more of a feeling of pride that he was growing up, becoming more independent and not needing us as much.  The same things really but somehow it made me smile for the rest of the morning.

Goodbye, Skinnay

Last night as Nik got ready for bed for the night, he went to feed Skinnay and found that he had died. It was anticlimactic. There was no middle of the night rush to the veterinary ER and late night vigil as we waited him for him to pass, as there had been with Chubs' death three years ago. Nik just found him: cold and stiff in the corner of his cage. I immediately felt guilty that our oft neglected pet died alone in his cage with while we were unaware of it. Nik is convinced that he couldn't have been dead for more than 24 hours, but it's anybody's guess and I feel bad for not noticing it earlier.

It's strange. In the midst of the the day-to-day craziness with the kids, Skinnay occupied such a peripheral space in our lives, so I didn't anticipate the sadness that I felt and perhaps as it was with Chubs' death, I feel the weight of my guilt for being a neglectful chin parent. Once upon a time "our boys" as we called them were a big part of our lives. They regularly ran around a little enclosure that we had created outside of the cage since Nik was worried that their cage was too cramped and we would get boxes from the post office for them to chew and explore. Once we started having kids, caring for them fell to the wayside. Now that Skinnay has passed, I can safely say that we aren't planning to have another pet for a while--I can't handle the guilt of feeling like a neglectful pet owner.

Meeting Skinnay for the first time almost 11 years ago

Our boys used to have the run of the house

Fulfilling the Chubs and Skinnay stereotype: Chubs on the top with the pellets and Skinnay on the bottom with the hay

I'm sad that Jad probably won't have memories of him, he only recently started saying "Ski-nay" and "Cheer-o" since he loved giving Skinnay treats. We debated whether to tell the kids before breakfast this morning and decided to just do it. Kai's inital reaction was, "can we have another pet?", though he got teary later on. Sora was more immediately sad. We then showed the kids Skinnay in the shoebox that we had placed him. The kids patted him and Jad waved to him and said, "bye bye Ski-nay."

The kids and I took Skinnay to the Humane Society in the afternoon to have him cremated. Kai and Sora took turns holding the shoebox on the car ride to the Humane Society. The staff had us sit in a quiet room to say goodbye and the kids had a chance to hold him and pet him one last time. The kids were alternatively sad and being their normal playful and goofy selves, I had to repeatedly remind them to treat Skinnay's body with care and that he was not a toy since he was a pet that we had loved. I can only assume that this was a part of them processing his death.

I know it's a bit macabre to have a picture of Sora holding Skinnay after he passed, but I just felt bad that I didn't have any recent pictures of him

It's probably for the best. After Chubs' death, I had always worried Skinnay would be lonely and whither away, but he didn't.. for three years, he kept at it on his own: loving his hay, running on his wheel, and begging for Cheerios when we gave him his food after the kids went to bed. I know that it's problematic to anthropomorphize animals and give them human attributes and emotions, but he must have been lonely. Sadly after he passed, I looked through all my photos and realized that I had only taken one picture of him over the course of this past year.

Nik had noticed that he had been losing weight recently and is convinced that his passing was simply a case of him getting too old. Perhaps.. but it's still difficult for me not to feel somewhat complicit.

Goodbye, Skinnay. I remember your acrobatic escapades of jumping out of your fenced enclosures and that one time that we left your cage unlatched and you ran amok in our house, chewing the baseboards and Nik's paperbacks. I'm sorry that we didn't take better care of you in the end, but hope that somehow you've been reunited with Chubs and that he's letting you use him as a body pillow. We'll miss you, buddy.

Kai Is still cute

Kai is six and a half now and he's in this a very in between stage.  He wants to have independence but also wants attention from us.  He wants to be with his friends but also wants to assert himself.

Today, Amy found him switching the seating around at church so he could sit next to Niko.  😁

Kai's first visit from the Tooth Fairy

For at least the past month, Kai's two bottom front teeth had been wiggly. We've seen his friends and classmates loosing teeth left and right, so it was high time for Kai to loose some teeth. On Saturday, the tooth on the right finally came out. I unexpectedly a little emotional.. our little boy is growing up!

With his haul from the Tooth Fairy. He didn't find the dollar immediately and was initially disappointed when he woke up, but found the dollar with some help from Nik

And here's a throwback.. *sniffle* ;_;

My chubby, smiling baby with only two teeth (circa Dec. 2013)