Last week, I took family leave from work and went to Thailand to see my mom, as well as my dad and older brother who are taking care of her. It was a short trip, 6 days total, so only really 4 days with all the traveling involved. It was difficult as she is not doing well but it was good to see her and also spend time with my brother and dad.
My mom's dementia is pretty bad now. She's young for it actually, not even quite 75 yet but it's really debilitated her. Maybe 10 years ago, she was just a bit slower than normal and would sometimes have some confused thoughts. Even 5 years ago, she was still here in the US with us and could do mostly everything, just forgetful occasionally. We still are grateful that we have pictures of her with all the kids and we got to spend that time with her. After that her declined accelerated and she began to have more hallucinations and delusions. Eventually, she stopped speaking English and we felt that she was becoming unsafe here by herself. She also wanted to go back to Thailand so, eventually, we helped her return there to live with my dad. She improved for some time then, as people with dementia often do when surrounded by their family and more familiar surroundings, and when we went to visit in 2019, she was still able to travel and see us in Bangkok. Then the pandemic hit and she really worsened with the lack of social contact, daily exercise and regular routine. She became much less mobile and spoke and interacted much less. We weren't able to visit her again until April of 2022 and she was already quite bad then though my dad was still managing to take care of her at home. In October of 2022, she got pneumonia and had to go into the hospital and it made her so weak that she couldn't return home. She stayed at a long term care portion of the hospital and has been there since. It was hard to see her in such poor health, she isn't able to communicate much so it's unclear how much she understands or feels. We're just trying to keep her as comfortable as possible during this time.
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| She is awake here but much of her day is spent sleeping |
My dad had an old picture of my mom and us from before we came to the US. My mom was 38 when she moved across the world with three kids, a few hundred dollars and a couple of suitcases. Since then she's worked many different jobs, owned a restaurant and raised three successful kids with six grand children. I think she would be pretty proud.
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| Which one is me? |
I went on this trip myself as the kids were in school and we all just went together to Thailand last April. It's odd traveling alone but I spent a lot of time with my brother, Joe, and it was nice to connect with him. We haven't had a chance to spend so much time together without the kids or family as distraction, for a long long time. My dad, on the other hand, is more magnified than before, like his essence is more concentrated as he gets older. He's almost 80 and is more impatient and intolerant of others than ever. It's clear that he loves my mom so that's a blessing.
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| Pocket ninja :) |
The plane ride was long and I didn't sleep super well. My legs and feet kept feeling achy, I think, because they are just slightly swollen from sitting for so long. That's what happens as you get older :p The flight took off at midnight from SFO, 10 hours to Taipei, a quick rush through the airport because of a delay, 5 hours to Chiang Mai and I landed at 12 noon where my dad and brother picked me up. It was nice to walk around after all that time and I adjusted pretty quickly.
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| The Maya Mall and Chinese New Year celebration |
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| Food court on 4th floor of Maya |
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$1 boba! I know it's not good for you but I had one daily during the trip :p |
The food in Thailand was awesome. So cheap and so tasty. My dad kept saying how this particular stall or restaurant was too expensive or that there was a better place somewhere else for this type of food but honestly, I thought it was all great. Maybe if I was there longer I would be more discerning but it was amazing to walk down to street and find food wherever you went. Some rice here, some noodles there, a bit of fried or grilled meat and you'd have a whole meal. My dad did run out to the market one morning and got some really great food (pictured below). Starting in the lower left, there's sticky rice, chicharones, crispy sweet noodles, friend fish/port/sausage, hung lay curry, various ground chillies + peppers.
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| Probably the best meal I had there. Cost ~$5 |
We traveled around in the back of red pickup trucks which act like taxis in Chiang Mai.
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| Don't fall out the back, pocket ninja.. |
We also went to several night markets during the evenings when my mom was asleep. When we were last here in April, Chiang Mai was very quiet and empty because of COVID. Now, the tourists are back in force and this is even without the Chinese tourists who are just beginning to travel again. This is good for the economy which has been suffering quite a bit over the last couple of years. Souvenir shops and stalls were opened everywhere and the crowds were thick in the markets, a return to more normal times.
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| Night market near Chinatown |
I left after four days there, which was just enough time. I think it'll be a little while before we go back to Thailand. When my mom does pass away, I hope my dad does ok. While we do have our differences and disagreements, I wish him the best and happiness in what he wants to do. Joe is ready to go home as well as after two months of being away from his family so I wish him safe travels as he returns.
I'll leave you today with a little souvenir I got from Thailand. It's just a little elephant I got as a desk decoration. It was $10 which is a lot for anything there but honestly, it's very little for me and I know the people there could certainly use the money. I love the colors and patterns on it :)